Always Be Honest Even If {When} It Hurts

Is it OK to lie?

And to what point should we uphold a standard of honesty?

Today I want to talk about honesty and lying.

I will be speaking from the standpoint of the Bible.But if you aren't a believer, this will still apply to you - because these are life qualities that affect EVERYONE'S lives.So, please, feel free to read on ;) 

I must say I have very complicated thoughts on this. Some may think they are confusing. But they aren't - in my mind everything I am about to say makes very much sense, and even together - just a complex arrangement of frayed consequences.
If that even makes sense.
First, I believe God hates lies (Proverbs 19:22, Ephesians 4:29). And He even commands us to not lie (Leviticus 19:11). 
But all that being said the Bible also tells us to love.

I'm  a strong advocate for truth - absolute truth. Yet I believe that contradictions can work together harmoniously - I'm not saying sin and righteousness can coexist but that our minds can't comprehend the fullness of God's ways. 

I believe in honesty.
I believe in edification.
I believe in helping others, even if the process hurts.

But I do not believe in hurting others without the intention of growth or change.I do not believe in torment - honesty lacking encouragement.
So many of us say we are blunt, honest individuals  but we are not so out of good intentions. And this is what I want to write about today - using our words in the way God commanded us to.
In love.

For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; You shall love your neighbor as yourself.Galatians 5:14

I want to take a break and share a story that has always bothered me.The story of Corrie Ten Boom's sisters, Nollie and her daughter.. 
This woman idolized honesty.
How can you idolize something good, you may ask? Something God created? 
In the very same way one can idolize the sun, the moon, marriage, family, and so on. All things God created or established are good  - yet none are to be worshiped. 
Betsy was so devoted to her own conscious - and more so in never telling a lie. I'm not saying she was sinning - only God knows her heart. I'm not even saying that she completely did wrong by revealing where the Jews were hiding.
I'm simply saying that this story bothers me because I feel this high of a reverence for honesty is wrong and against the Bible - the greatest commandment is to love God and His son and people.

Read 1 John 2. 

Yes, a miracle was worked in this instance and no one was hurt. And though we can argue that she was stupid to tell the truth, we can argue that being stupid for God is not wrong at all.
But we need to be very wary of using this story as further proof to idolize the belief, "Always be honest" because of the following reasons.
1. It's not a scriptural story, but a testimony. Thus as we can learn from it we may not adapt to it or follow it.
2. It contradicts with many Biblical stories of when God did use lies to work out His perfect will. Examples: Exodus 1:1-22, 1 Samuel 19:17 
3. And in my opinion, the most important reason is this: to not use a story to idolize a lesser commandment over the greater one - love. 

Some other things to remember: 
It's not wrong to remain silent if the truth causes harm.

God does not ask us to do wrong. 

We are not to follow our own convictions over God's plans.


I will even argue at times it's not wrong to tell a lie if it will benefit another, showing the love that God commands us to show.

From what I have studied, the commandment to not lie is a bit construed and taken out of context by many. Most of the time when one lies they are doing so out of selfish motives or to hurt another.
This is ALWAYS wrong and an ABOMINATION in God's eyes.
But to protect another, as we trust God, is not wrong.
Sometimes part of protecting someone will involve: lying, killing (defense), stealing (think spy work), breaking the Sabbath day, kidnapping (rescuing someone by taking them out of their direct authority), and so on.

I want to put an emphasis on this: if lying was 100% wrong, then so would be warfare, spy work, trickery, sarcasm, and joking. Some of these may sound silly - but following the logic of being completely honest only brings one to this conclusion.
In a perfect world war would be sin and prohibited.
But we do not live in a perfect world, do we? 

To be so adamant to your personal conscious that you can not heed the most important calling, to love, is wrong.
Whether this puts another in harm's way, or even is simply telling someone "Just what you think of them" causing them unnecessary pain is wrong.

It is wrong to be honest for the sake of honesty.

We must remember the following verses:


And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ This is the first commandment. And the second, like it, is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.Mark 12:28-31, Matthew 22: 37-40

Wait - "but we aren't to never break God's commandments?"

I'd like to ask you, "But what about the commandments your don't keep?"
The majority of people I know break the Sabbath day commandment > "On the seventh day you shall do no work," does not mean attend church on a Sunday. (Exodus 20:10)
Do not take God's name in vain - just how many say {Oh, my Gosh!} with out wincing? (Exodus 20:7)
Why do we get to pick and choose which of God's commandments are worthy enough to continue keeping? How is lying put on a pedestal of its own, next to adultery and stealing, yet using God's name wrongly or disliking the "unworthy" is OK???

Why do we become so focused on our own understanding? More true to our self-made conscious than loving God and humanity? 
Evoking false guilt over matters of lesser importance??

I am not saying, "Lie."
I am saying, "Love first and everything else will follow according to circumstances and what is right." This is what the Bible says.

Meaning, the majority of the time love will be proven through truth. But at other times like the midwives who saved many Jewish baby boys, Rahab, and David's wife Michel we will have to protect what's good with a lie.

And this is not wrong - or sinning against God.

It is the way of an imperfect world, a world where there are few absolute truths with out exceptions, one being "Love all."

I'm not saying be deceitful - I'm saying if your are a follower of God prove it. Stop clinging to silly doctrines and start proving your faith by your works. (James 2;14-26)
Love.