"Do You Love Christmas Yet?"

Only a few years ago I had made a name for myself as "the girl who didn't keep Christmas" or "the girl who liked arguing about Christmas". 

For that reason, I have been putting this post off for a long time, despite having promised several people that I planned to write it and having those same people ask me, "When are you going to write it?"

I hate this subject so much. It's not that I hate Christmas, or even wish that the entire world would stop celebrating. I could care less. But there are many bitter memories wrapped into my confession of non-celebration.

Back when I was first a Ruby Girl, when I'd previously never even had a sleepover let alone stayed away from home over without family, I found my beliefs being challenged by everyone around me, but especially by a couple boys a few years younger than me.

"You don't keep Christmas?" He asked. "That's stupid. Why?"

I'll admit I was unsettled. I was only eighteen and had never defended any of my beliefs. I'd researched them, yes, but that's different than actually debating them with another individual that disagrees with you. And then being told it's stupid on top of that. And then feeling new and having no confidence in my surroundings, I didn't know how to answer. 

I laughed nervously. Then stammered a bunch of stupid answers that were far from satisfactory, including, "It's a pagan and Catholic holiday." So I said, "I'll research it and get back to you tomorrow."

Disclaimer: I was raised with old Protestant/ Anabaptist influences, meaning I read a lot of literature and history of how a lot of Believers left the Catholics and were persecuted by them. As a result, I grew up around many people who thought Catholics were about as evil as one could get, being idol worshippers and killers of true lovers of God. I have since learned that there are many Catholics who I believe are sincerely in love with the true God and have brilliant minds and can discuss God's word with more maturity than most protestants I know. Also note that not all Protestants and Anapabtist were raised as I was, and many modern ones don't even think of Catholicism, much more hate them.

The next night, which happened to be December 25th, all of us younger people were sitting around. I had studied as I promised I would, but the other boy initiated the conversation. "So have you changed your mind about Christmas?"

"No." And then I shared all that I have known through my parents and grandparents my entire life but hadn't been able to express before.

I actually don't want to fill this post up with all those reasons, as they are quite easy for anyone to google. But I will briefly summarize: 

• No-one knows when Jesus was truly born. Many scholars even say it was probably in the Spring or September. Currently, there is a movement going around trying to prove that His birthday was indeed December 25th. But in all honesty, it's impossible to prove one way or another. 

• Early Christians viewed it as a pagan practice to celebrate birthdays, and much preferred celebrating the deaths of martyrs. 

• The early Catholic church was also very intent on merging Pagans into Christianity and saving their souls, sometimes through warfare, sometimes by adopting Pagan traditions and making them "Christian". In this manner, Christmas was established as Jesus' birthday a couple centuries after the fact. Most sources seem to agree that the time was originally the Winter Solstice celebration where Pagans worshipped the sun-god. 

Some say that this "sanctifying" of the day is all the more reason to make it better. My friend back then told me, "It's like it was a broken chair and the church mended it."

And I said, "Was it a broken chair, or a piece of rotted wood?" If it was only a broken chair, then the early church had every right to reform it. But, I said, it had never been a good holiday. It was corrupt to the core, and the church took that deformed wood and built a chair out of it, covering it with bright paints and fancy clothes. The chair might look pretty, but if one were to sit on it, they would find it was still no better than the rotted wood that it was made from, and that it would have been better that it had been thrown out altogether. 

Some people have likened it to Hitler's birthday, a date that we do not celebrate and would cause much offense to Jews and others if we did. But what if we took that day and "said" it represented something else ... that way we and Nazis could celebrate together. What is the difference between celebrating on a day that honors a Pagan God? 

• If you're curious, you can also google all the reasons behind the Christmas tree, gift-giving, wreaths, and so forth. 

We hashed out these arguments every single time we were together. Eventually, we both became known as the two that liked to argue, and we'd argue about anything and everything, including if cats or dogs were better. It actually got a little annoying but became an unbreakable habit.

I spent two Christmases there, and both times, while I enjoyed the parties and games and friends, the constant barrage of,  "Do you love Christmas yet?" really started to grate my nerves.

And then he decided I argued too much and quit talking to me. And other people involved seemed set on "changing me and making me celebrate". And most of those friends no longer speak to me. 

For a time I hated Christmas. I hated how it had come to define me, how I had lost friends over it, and how some even seemed to think I was evil to not keep Christmas. I hated how it had become a huge part of my outward identity. And I hated how so many people couldn't simply leave me alone and respect the fact that I didn't wish to celebrate this holiday and could care less if they continued in their traditions. Though I'm still very forthright about my beliefs, this is still a sore subject I prefer not to discuss with most people.

"But you have to celebrate His birthday on someday," I'm told. "So why not December 25th?"

But why do I have to celebrate something I've never celebrated in my entire life? Why must I keep Christmas? 

It is a beautiful holiday, they tell me. It is a time for family to be together, and to feel the presence of God.

I enjoy Christmas music and lights, but I also have seen all the stress and drama and fighting that goes on behind many people's Christmas scenes. And the work before and after preparing and cleaning up. And, oh, there is always so much money spent.

It is all about Jesus, they say. 

And it isn't like the people I know don't worship Him. They certainly do. But ... if they were really honest, they aren't celebrating just because of Him. 

Fast-forward to when I bypassed my bitter days, to today where I now have a more solid standing of who I am along with my beliefs. I'm no longer as upset about losing friends and feeling pressured to change. And I also no longer feel the need to defend myself in this area, or even debate the topic with others. And yet, I've had to come to terms of why I don't keep Christmas. 

I think it's time for some family history. 

Growing up, I didn't really know what Christmas or Easter was. My family never celebrated, and when the days came along they were normal days for us. I do remember our landlord giving us some chocolate for Easter (I think) and Mom and Dad discussing if we should accept or not, and Dad finally saying we should. And then I remember some other neighbors giving us candy for Halloween. Dad said back then, "People are free to give us whatever they like. There's nothing wrong with accepting stuff." 

My parents have never celebrated the holidays either. And neither has my dad's parents. 

When I was in my early teens my mom would go through phases of liking Hallmark Christmas movies. I think it was the romance she liked, haha. Anyways, I saw lots of those, and still had no desire to keep Christmas, and though it was as silly as the romances displayed. Or how "Christmas brought love into a cold heart" ... cold, often because the guy liked working too much. 

(Quick tangent: I dislike how movies demonize the virtue of hard work.)

To me, I see a bunch of people telling each other things that are inaccurate in the name of tradition, spending money on junk because they "have to" and talking about this mysterious feeling they get only at Christmas time. Which I find so very sad. Sometimes I think my family might even be happier most days than people are on this one day of the year. 

You see, there's no sentiment wrapped up in Christmas for me. No sentiment, no tradition, no attachment or desire of any sort. 

And I just realized this as I've been watching more and more people celebrate or defend their celebrations at the rise of many anti-Christmas people. To some people, Christmas is very, very special.

And, believe it or not, I'm coming to appreciate this. I'm coming to appreciate the traditions, and even how Catholics have "remade" the day, and how Americans have "remade" it from how Catholics passed it on to them. I also know many people that celebrate it as only a holiday without religious attachments, which I actually prefer, because I think they are more honest about the "reason for the season": a fun family gathering of decorations, gifts, and food. 

I do feel like many people's why's for celebrating are really just lies. 

"It's the season for joy," says who? Definitely not God, as He says to always have joy. 

"When I wake up on Christmas morning, I think of Jesus." But shouldn't you always? 

And now we come to the two major questions people have of me. 

I don't think it's possible to make something pagan into something Christian, because we don't serve of God of compromise, but a God of reformation and restoration. God asks for us to give up our old lives and follow Him only. So how can we keep ahold of anything that is apart of our former sin?

It is arguable that Christmas isn't a holiday that compromised with Paganism but caused reformation. But only slightly, as many of the immoral celebrations continued long after the institution of the holiday, and in some ways continue on to these days among young people. Yet, anything can be traced to paganism, including water. And before Hitler was born April 20th was only a day. So, I think one can get too caught up with trying to distance themselves from paganism. And once you get started on such a path, it is hard to be free to do anything, because everything from the heart symbol to the calendar to the drums can be traced back to paganism. 

And now for the two major questions weighing on all of your minds. 

"Do you think I'm going to Hell for keeping Christmas?" 

 No. I do think Christmas has Pagan roots. But I don't think the analogy of the broken chair or of the rotted piece of wood needs to apply. The celebration does have Pagan roots, but humans are free to take the baby out of the bathwater. People are free to party, even if it's not a God-ordained holiday. God doesn't forbid joy. And if you find joy in Christmas, celebrate. 

But please, stop trying to tell me I'm evil for feeling joyful without Christmas. 

If you are considering quitting Christmas, here are some things to consider: 

• If you were to buy everything in the song "Twelve Days Of Christmas", according to multiple sources, it would total around $39,000. Please, give me the money, not the gifts. 

• On average, people spend $700-1000 on Christmas, and in America, several sources  claim we spent a trillion dollars together. To put things in more perspective, many of these gifts are bought out of obligation and many of the gifts are received with fake enthusiasm, and later discarded.

I prefer to give gifts because I want to, not because I have to. For this reason, I hardly even give gifts on birthdays. I also like to give meaningful gifts, often handmade. 

If you do decide to discontinue keeping Christmas, here are somethings I'd like you to consider: 

• Just because you now feel enlightened on this one subject doesn't mean you are more holy than those who still celebrate. Remember, there is nothing wrong with worshipping God more than He requires of us. And there is nothing wrong with having fun when it's not immoral. 

• Do not try to force others to stop celebrating with you. This is something for personal conviction either and is not a salvation issue that's worth losing friendships over. 

• And if you do stop, it will be very hard for you. Not only will you have the sentimental attachments I never had, but you will also have many more family members and friends who have those too and who will feel attacked by you for discontinuing. It will be much harder for you. I lost a couple friends, and have had friendships strained because of misunderstandings over this day. But you may lose family. Consider if it's truly your conscious leading you to this and if that cost is worth it to you. 

And for those of you who plan to always observe your traditions and holiday, I ask only one thing of you: don't judge those of us who wish not to. 

This is not a salvation issue. 

Let those who wish to celebrate do so, and those who don't, leave us in peace. 

"What does Christmas look like in your home?"

A normal day. Most years we didn't realize it was a holiday. When we kids got older we'd have fun with it and change Christmas songs to make them "not-Christmasy". Or we'd laugh and eat food and watch movies since we are mostly all self-employed and no-one wants you to work on Christmas day. The last couple of years friends invited us over to their house. And why not accept a good meal?

And yes, there's a special humor in families who don't keep Christmas, where we like to do things like sing "we wish you an awful Christmas and a terrible new year" or put a unicorn on top of a Christmas tree.

If you want more funny "anti-Christmas" stories, Google how Oliver Cromwell protested Christmas or how Tories and Patriots fought over Christmas. Or how the early Pilgrims started building their first building on December 25th.

Oh, the things we humans do for spite, haha. 

Final question: "Would you marry someone who keeps Christmas, and would you keep Christmas with him?" 

I know some people who would consider this a dealbreaker. Because to keep a once-pagan holiday is equal to being a Pagan. 

Personally, I don't view it as a salvation issue. And I also understand that the other person may have sentimental connections that are not easily nor necessarily should be severed. Yes, I do not like the idea of keeping Christmas because of my family beliefs and because of my personal values of minimalism and money-spending. But if the holiday is that important to a guy I who is overall a good guy, I would compromise in this area. Begrudgingly, maybe, but still all the same, I'd embrace what's important to him.

And I can already hear my old friends saying, "YES. She's converted."

I just won't listen to those voices ;)

Though, I'd expect to have some thorough discussions about how we'd do it with children. Because there's no way I'd ever feel comfortable spending thousands of dollars for a holiday. 

I have given gifts to people when staying with them as I didn't want to cause unnecessary offense. My last Au Pair family was actually offended when I said I didn't keep Christmas because they assumed I would not "assimilate" with them and exchange gifts. Which I found a bit annoying because isn't Christmas supposed to be not about the gifts? 

Some of you take pride in your Christmas traditions. Is there anything wrong with me or my my family having pride in how we were raised? No its not a self-inflaged pride where we think we're better, but a deep appreciation for how we were raised.

Soon, I'll be making a YouTube video about the history of Christmas in America which closely ties into my own family history of not celebrating. 

I'd love to know your thoughts. And feel free to ask any questions you may have!