Irresolutions
Last year I was tired of the me I was.
So I set resolutions. Just like every other year.
I was going to be better. I was going to love more. I was going to be different... no more old, nasty me.
Beautiful.Perfect.Caring. Kind.
I was going to chase all my wildest dreams. No fear was allowed to hold me back.
I was going to travel to new places.Â
I was going to experience new, exciting things.Â
Lose all that weight. Eat completely healthy. Read my Bible five times a day. Pray every second. Be a friend to everyone. Find true love. Give to twenty missions.
It was also the year I was going to take the most selfies, posted with false quotes to inspire millions!!!! #Selfielover
I was going to become the me I've always wanted to be.
And, so what happened???
I succeeded!!!!Â
Guys, I'm now perfect!!!!!!!!!!
I can now be proud of the me I am.
I accomplished all my New Year Resolutions for 2017. And, boy, do I feel wonderful... except what do I do this year around?
I'm so perfect I can't make any more resolutions. ;/
I mean... what can I change about me, now?
A whole year of work... and now I'm stuck in perfection. Forever.
It's actually a depressing thought. Except I don't get depressed anymore.
Well, after much thought I have finally realized what I must do.
I must take a regress year.
It's not right to be this perfect, to have no room left to resolve me. So, I will back slide a little.Â
I'll be a little less kind.Â
A little less me.
That way in 2019 I'll have something to work toward again!Â
2018 is my irresolution year!!!
I'm so happy :) Maybe you'd like to join me, if you too met all your resolutions?Â
Here's to irresolutions!Â
I do hope that you caught on that this is satire. My regular post is still scheduled for Wednesday! Can't wait to see you all then :DÂ
Here are some other posts I wrote for previous New Years: