KISSING and The Fading Art of How To Research

The other day I was thinking about how it was sad that some people don't like to think or have opinions. As if having an opinion about something is bad. You see, I love to spend my days developing opinions about all sorts of things while I work. It's fun to think. And it's fun to stretch your thoughts in new directions. But on this particular day, I was pitying all of those that don't like having opinions.

I really pity those who say things like, "I don't really have an opinion." And say it as if they really don't have an opinion.

Like I said, I was spending my time pitying them. Until I started thinking about how impossible it had to be to not have an opinion about something.
"Surely, there's something that everyone has an opinion on?" 
And then it dawned on me what that something was—kissing! 
Everyone has an opinion about kissing. And if you tell me you don't, I'll be convinced that you are lying to me. 
Different Opinions Concerning Kissing: 

• It's what mother's do to babies.

• It's what boys do to girls. 

• It's what only married people do. 

• Kissing is wrong unless you're married. 

• Kissing is wrong unless you're engaged. 

• Kissing makes babies. 

• Kissing is harmless.  

• You can kiss a guy at the end of your first date to show him you'd like to go on another.

• To kiss is to commit. 

• Kissing is free for all—so don't put limitations on it. 

• It's what religious people do and it's called a Holy Kiss. 

• It's a sign of someone betraying someone. Run from him who tries to kiss you!

• Kissing is, "Ew!"

• Kissing is . . . "Oh, I'm sorry. I was thinking about something." *blushes*

Used with permission from Elizabeth Newsom

And the more I started thinking about it the more I realized that there are so many opinions about kissing because nearly everyone has an opinion about kissing. And I was amazed and overjoyed. And I smiled. For maybe the world wasn't as opinion-less as I had feared . . . 

Then I wondered, "Why? Why is kissing such a popular thing to hold an opinion of, even among those who say they have no opinions?" 

So, of course, I decided it was time to research this subject. But I didn't want to just google about kissing. First, that's weird. And I'm starting to hold the opinion that one of the reasons people don't know how to think very well is because they've forgotten how to really study. Google has made people lazy—why put in the full effort of studying if you can just google it? And why remember what you googled if you can easily google it again? 

As I teach you all about kissing, I'm also going to show you how to really study. The old-fashioned way. 

The first thing I did was look in my encyclopedias. Every smart researcher knows that you can learn a lot of information if you but browse the encyclopedias for hours. In fact . . . when I was about fourteen-fifteen I was seriously addicted to encyclopedias and spent hours reading them.

Sadly, I found no information in my set of encyclopedias on kissing. I was very disappointed that they didn't even have the words kiss, kissing, or any other variations. 

I opened my The Random House Dictionary of the English Language: The Unabridged Edition and was pleased to find they had the words I was looking for. 

Ignore the word, "kist". It was at the top of the dictionary page and I couldn't cut it out of the picture. It's not pertinent to this study and is not an old-fashioned word for kiss.  
As you can see, this proved to be very informative. I really enjoyed the entry kiss-off. It almost sound like an American Idol kind of show for people to compete on how well they kiss. But it really means "to dismiss someone". So boring ;/ 
The kissing gourami may be why people think "Ew" when they think of kissing. 
Kiss also means to gently touch, as an imagery word. Kiss of death is a fatal or destructive relationship—I think it refers to a bad breakup? 
I found the kiss of peace to be very interesting though. It seems to be a form of communion, or a type of Holy Kiss as referred to in the Bible (2 Corinthians 13:12). But what I found the most interesting was that it directed me to look up another word: pax. 

Now, this is interesting. The kiss of peace directed me to pax, which is a Latin word that literally means peace. On top of that, Pax was the name of the Roman Goddess of peace. It makes sense that the Catholic church would take a pagan word and connect it to something like a communal kiss, as they were all about "sanctifying" paganism in the early days by redefining and reassigning it as they did that with many other practices and holidays. And it was Latin besides. (These previous sentences are classic examples of the opinions I like to ponder over, that may or may not be rooted in deep fact.)

Done with the dictionary, I turned to the third book I always look to for information. My Strong's Exhaustive Concordance. Want to guess how many times kissing appears in the Bible? 

The King Jame's Bible only has the word forty-eight times. Which means the Bible is definitely not an erotica, but also not of the opinion that kissing is disgusting. It's interesting to note that the first kiss in the Bible is when Jacob, pretending to be Esau, kissed his father, using his kiss to deceive Isaac.

"But didn't Adam and Eve kiss?" You may ask.

I guess that's something we'll never know.  

To learn more about the Bible's (or God's) opinion on kissing I looked up the numbers on the right side of the picture above. 

5401

5368

5370

2705

5390

kissing can show submission? Well, that's a new one  . . .

Kissing means to smite (hit someone to hurt them) . . .? Oh, wait, the numbers have changed over into the Greek. Remember when using the concordance to look up in either the Hebrew or Greek depending on where the words are found in scripture. It might make all the difference . . .  

Both of these sorts of kisses refer to brotherly affection. 

I really like this one :) 

But after researching all of that, I realized I still wanted to know more. So I gave in and used google. I love etymology. So that's where I started. 

kiss

/kis/

verb

gerund or present participle: kissing

1. 
   touch with the lips as a sign of love, sexual desire, reverence, or greeting."he kissed her on the lips"
   synonyms:give a kiss to, brush one's lips against, blow a kiss to; 
   informalpeck, smooch, canoodle, neck, buss, make out, lock lips; formal/humorousosculate"he kissed her on the lips"

   • BILLIARDS

     (of a ball) lightly touch (another ball) in passing.

Origin

Old English cyssan (verb), of Germanic origin; related to Dutch kussen and German küssen .

Use over time for: kissing

Found all the above online when googling "kissing etymology"

I was quite pleased to see that the word has Germanic origins. And that its meaning is so varied from being a simple touch to something more erotic. How many words have such a scale of meaning? 

With googling elsewhere, I found a common trend among languages for kissing—most words for kissing appeared very similar if not almost identical. 

I found an article that had some very intriguing things to say about the etymology of the word. First, it says that it appears most cultures have always practiced kissing and they aren't quite sure how or where it came from. (I read somewhere that the Bible is one of the oldest books recording the kiss, and considering that we have the Song Of Solomon, it also records one of the oldest mentions of a sensual kiss). 

The article also lists a bunch of phrases, and I'll share a few of the interesting ones:

• To kiss the cup (meaning to drink alcohol, originating 1500)

• To kiss the dust (meaning to die, originating 1835) 

• kiss (something) goodbye (originated 1935)

• To kiss (someone) off (meaning to dismiss or get rid of someone, especially of the opposite gender, originating 1935)

My last place is almost as good as an encyclopedia, though not as reliable, I know. Wikipedia.  First, it says that the study of kissing is philematology. So, now we know what to call this subject we are studying! But onto Wikipedia—it was packed full of gems!

Such as, how did the kiss originate? 

It seems that most believe kissing is intuitive and just always has been. But there's another theory I find more plausible. That of "kiss feeding" the process where a mother chews up food then puts it in her baby's mouth. 

"Disgusting!" You may think to the point of that can't be true. 

But anyone with kids or younger siblings (or if you have babysat many children) will know that it's very true . . . yes, I've fed many children this way. Do you want them to choke on food they are unable to chew???

So, yes, I find this explanation very practical and sufficient. 

The first time kissing was shown on TV was in 1896 and the kiss lasted thirty seconds. People had a very opinionated reaction saying, "It is absolutely disgusting. Such things call for police interference."

Further on, Wikipedia says that not every culture kisses and that about ten percent of the world doesn't. Some societies find it dirty (as in repulsive). I mean, think of all those germs! Some have superstitions about kissing, believing that mouths are the gateway to the soul and kissing can invite death. 

According to Wikipedia, kissing has been made more acceptable through the Romans (now aren't you all glad they tried to conquer the world?), and then onward through the rest of Europe. Romans were known to be very passionate and supposedly had several different types of kissing: 

• osculum: A Latin word meaning little mouth and described kissing the cheek or the hand

• basium: A Latin word meaning to kiss (loudly) and used for family 

• suavium: A Latin word that means sweet, mouth, or tender kiss and used to describe a kiss of passion

Now, it might seem weird that there are so many different types of kissing (or maybe only to Americans). I mean, to us, all kissing is romantic and any other kind is "Weird" or "Gross". And even the romantic kind borders "Ew!" 

But then it actually makes sense, if you think about it a little more. Biblically, there are four different types of love. So why shouldn't there be multiple types of kissing? According to Wikipedia, the French have twenty kinds of kisses and the Germans have thirty. I love anything German, but I would never have guessed them to have more types of kissing than the French. 

The funny thing, is the majority of these kisses, while not being romantic, still are placed on the lips. 

"But . . . how can a kiss on the lips not be romantic?" 

Think of it like holding hands. When a girl and a boy hold hands sometimes it means a cute romance is blossoming. But sometimes girls and boys just hold hands. Sometimes friends hold hands. Sometimes people hold hands because they have to (think of an older sibling watching a younger sibling). Or maybe they are playing some silly teenage game. Holding hands doesn't mean there's romance involved.

Kissing simply means to touch or caress, usually on the lips. And sometimes that touch involves romance. But it doesn't have to mean that. 

And then it's completely possible for romance to exist without kissing—think about that ten percent that believe kissing could lead to your soul being sucked away. I'm sure that just because they don't kiss doesn't mean they don't have romance or love in their life. It just looks different for them. 

What's your opinion on kissing? Do you believe the art of researching is dying? Do you love encyclopedias? Or know how to use a concordance? Do you believe that philematology should be added to school curricula?