Question Marks Are Broken Hearts

I'm the type of person that loves to find meaning in everything. Pain only amplifies my desire to know why. That is why when my friend, Laura, texted me one day, telling me about some new thoughts of hers they resonated with me.


"I started drawing random things this morning. Basically just lines and punctuation marks. It kinda hit me that question marks are hearts that have been broken and started to cry. The half heart with the dot at the bottom for the tear... And it just was hard for me to kinda re-realize that some questions will never be answered here on Earth and will sometimes just bring tears..."

Drawn by Laura Santee
This hit me like, "Wow, Laura, that is amazing!"

As I said, pain brings so many questions... when you're hurt, alone you wonder why? When all you feel does become questions.

"Why do I have to feel this pain? Why do I hurt so much?"

"Why did God allow me to love if only to have that love ripped away?"

"Why is the world so selfish?"

"Why are people so complicated?"

"Why are we all so ready to be loved, but few are willing to actually love others?"

"Why am I dealing with this?"

The questions never end. And sometimes it feels everything I once held dear only falls away, becoming yet another question mark, no answer.

Life... love dying to the mystery of why.

This is really an exclamation mark, but I saw it as a question mark the first time around.
source
I found this emoji, shortly after my friend texted me.

Immediately I was reminded of her words, but this time my thoughts took another turn. In a hopeful direction.

It doesn't have to end with tears, question marks, pain.

You can grow, even out of unanswered why's.

You can heal.

You can move on and find beauty, laughter again.

And then, slowly, surely your questions will fade. The heart will become whole... become an exclamation mark.

You may never know why. I will never know why I lost some of the people I lost. Or experienced  some of the pain I did. But that's OK...

Broken hearts will be questions marks. We cry the pain away in questions. And then slowly, life picks up. We are given new things to love. New and better people will come onto our path, a long with some of the same old awful kind.

And slowly we forget the questions as we choose to keep loving.

And our questions become exclamations of joy.

For no reason we are happy, we smile.

"Why?" 

Who knows? Maybe it's just part of the cycle of growth God has for us. Maybe it's the result and consequences of sin alive in the world. Maybe it's something I can't even think to ask.

But all that matters is this: we are continuing on despite pain or smile. Despite a possible future of pain that may reemerge. Despite everything, we keep on healing and growing and loving.

We are alive, we know beauty even among the broken question marks and their tears.


Thank you, Laura, for helping me see this, for sending me your honest, beautiful text!



What of you? Have you ever felt like this, that everything beautiful always seems to break into a question mark, over and over? Have you ever learned to be OK with the unanswered questions? 
I'd love to hear your thoughts!