Spontaneous Hospitality
how it's a form of elitism to expect someone to "text first" before dropping in and why Jesus' message is for introverts, too
I want strangers to enter my home and find what they've been searching for at church.
A lot of people dislike generalities. I think this is because they fail to realize universal objective truths are concurrent with nuanced variances. A blanket statement offends their sensibilities. But it also rubs honestly where one has hidden behind pampered vagaries.
One of the reasons the church at large is failing is that congregations have forgotten what it means to be "home"... a place of comfort to weary pilgrims and to entertain angels. How can we expect the church to be a place of refuge when many of us keep our own doors locked? Oh, maybe you feel this isn't true in your church. Maybe you feel your community is strong. But look around. Are you comfortable in the little niches and cliques of your social bubble? Are there even a few who walk in and out of your church, silently, without having been invited to your home for a meal? Is your church friendly to a new face?
We all, men and women, have a duty to mend this rift in our communities, but I speak directly to the women who yearn to be strong in their femininity, or even those who misunderstand what femininity is, and simply want to be left alone. I write to each woman with two hands with which to feed and open doors. You are the queen of your home (or a princess in training, and therefore still bound to serve).
What sort of queen do you want to be? Tyrannical or benevolent? How do you want your subjects to view you?
This is not to say that you should view your guests as subjects, but that you should be willing to cultivate a noble-minded attitude. You have something to offer others. This doesn't mean you hold contempt for them, or view them as inferior. In fact it's important to make certain that you aren't always the one receiving guests, but that you also drop in on others unannounced. If for any reason you do suppose yourself to be better than others because of some advantage you've had in life remember this only increases your duty to share your conversation, company, and skills with others.
Women pine on social media yearning to have community and yet are so glued to their online complaints that they are scarcely able to lay aside their phone and answer the unexpected knocking at their door.
If you are lonely, then you must learn to be hospitable and spontaneous.
"But I need time ... I am an introvert!" The gospel remains the same to the introvert and the extrovert: Love God and love your neighbor. When we sacrifice ourselves we are "recharged" in Him... not in ourselves or in others'energy. You need nothing but grace and love, and your reward and rest will be amply provided.
The house does not need to be cleaned first. Naturally, if you are able, it is best to always be ready for the opportunity of hospitality, and to live a life capable of generosity. But if this is not possible, share what you have. Open your door, do not peer out as if your guest is a bothersome intruder. If you have no couches, offer the chair. Or sit on the floor with them, if you have no chairs. If you have no tea, offer water. If you were about to eat, set another plate on the table. There is always enough to share, if you truly desire.
It is entitled to expect a heads-up... let me assure you, not everyone has succumbed to the smartphone. Not everyone is willing nor able to be tethered to a pocket device. In an age where etiquette and manners are no longer valued, it is ridiculous for the common woman to be astounded at a sound at her door. This is not the time to suddenly be worried about what is polite. Is it polite to tell your guest to text first? No! Greet them with a smile and say, "What an unexpected delight!"
Does this mean that you always welcome the intrusion? Perhaps not initially. Even as I reformatted this post I was repeatedly interrupted by several phone calls from friends who I hadn't heard in awhile. While answering your phone, isn't quite the same thing as answering a knock at the door, it requires the same effort out of me. I had to lay aside the work I wished to do and find myself excited to talk to this friend who thought to call me. I did not say, "I am too busy for you right now, I am writing an article about hospitality."
These values are tested even in my own life often enough. We recently hosted a friend for a day and a half after a half hour notice. I used those thirty minutes to clean the house, get a casserole in the oven, and put fresh bedding on the mattress. I then stowed away the projects I'd planned to sew, and prepared to entertain this person.
Sometimes it really seems impossible to drop what you’re doing to open the door and invite your friend inside. You’re in the middle of canning a large batch of applesauce, or you’ve just torn the attic a part, or a pan of brownies must be made for tomorrow’s social. Your guest came to see you, though, and more than likely they are willing to help you accomplish your tasks.
Many times I’ve had friends show up just as I was about to plant a dirt-bed with flowers, or as I was dusting and reorganizing my books, or when I ‘d just began to sort through some crates of fabric. People love to help, usually. Let them.
Hospitality doesn’t mean you have to put on a fancy performance. Sometimes it can even look like calling up a good friend, and saying, “I’m not feeling motivated today, would you come over for a cup of tea to keep me company while I deep clean my fridge?”
Until women take up the mantel of the good queen and reclaim her position as keepers of the heart and home, opening her hands to strangers, our churches will continue to be places of barren worship and we ourselves will pay with the spiritual decline of our femininity. The things I wish to do can always wait, especially when God is ready to present me with a sweet surprise. Why wouldn't I accept His communion?
"I want strangers to enter my home and find what they've been searching for at church." This gifted me a joyful tear. I'm glad I found you through your new hubby whom I found through TFP. god bless you both! Just subscribed and will keep donations in mind, from one "majority world" home to yours, on His road. Find those bones!
This is spot on! Hospitality is a habit (dare I say virtue?) to cultivate! It's not just for a specific group of people.