"They say I've lost my mind—Scary thing is, I'm starting to believe them"

On April 10th I looked at the calendar and was shocked to see that only a third of the month had passed. April has been looong but in all the best senses of the word. 

Basically, it feels like I've lived two months of amazing life these last couple weeks. Ever have that happen to you? 

Left to right: Rashida and her husband (Jack); Jack's friend, Jager; my sister, Jerushah. 

One of my best friends, Rashida, came from Tennesse with her husband to visit the first week of April. That was a great way to start off the month. I took most of the week off from work, and just had too much fun.

We talked and laughed and hiked and visited Glacier. 

 At Glacier, we stopped to visit this pretty area next to some railroad tracks. Of course, a train decided to come while we were there ... we ran away, feeling like (at least I was) crazy teenagers.

 "Rashida, meet Lauren. Lauren, meet Rashida."
This is what I call #friendretiring.

Rashida is the friend who is the inspiration behind my Poison Ivey Essential oil. 

Work:

 So, even though I only took two days off, it felt like I hardly worked for the first half of this month. Even though the rest of the days of working were long and crazy ... they weren't so bad. Spending time with friends doing nothing was great. 

But yeah ... there were a few days of work that lasted longer as a result. And one night Jerushah and I stayed up until late in the morning doing some extra stuff for work.

My cleaning humor found some more laughs:

"I nearly chose journalism as a career but settled on house cleaning instead because I much prefer sticking my hands in REAL dirt 🥴🙃 PS I’m still interested in journalism"

And one of my favorite ministries, Save The Storks, liked one of my Instagram posts (I was wearing one of their shirts)! 

 Babysitting has been ... adventuresome on days, but this last month it's been so great! And the littlest ones have just been so sweet and cute.

I had several ten hour work days this month ... always my favorite sort of days, because then you feel like you have a really good excuse to be tired, plus I love looking back over all the work accomplished. 

Also, Jerushah and I are just about done housesitting! Just another week ... where did these last couple months go? 

Humor (The following pics aren't mine):

"Ah, well at least he likes her despite it all ..." Just make her think she's pretty.

 "But how're we gonna learn how to take over the world then?" #homeschoolingROCKS

 Back when dancing was more painful and didn't require a lady to participate. And when you had to "beat" out your own rhythm, because only barbarians owned drums.

Writing: I finished the second draft of my third novel in the first week of April. It's a Christian YA Contemporary (if you'd like to know more about it or would like to read it, email me and I'll be more than happy to share!). I sent it out to several beta readers right away. One of them had it finished just a few hours later, two others were done by the next day. And I've had several people gushing over it as they read it. Never have I had such an influx of positive feedback. Wow ... I am amazed and thankful and excited. 

DISCLAIMER: These same people have also given me feedback to improve my story, so there's no fear of me becoming overly confident ;) 

I also got this crazy idea about this woman who doesn't feel crazy, but everyone around her tells her that she is ...  and then things get crazier, and she's not sure who to trust, including herself. 

It started out as a two-sentence horror story on a FB group ... 

And then I lengthened it and entered it into a 250-word flash fiction contest ... and won! There were only fifteen contestants but still felt good. The site isn't the most appropriate, so I'll just post the flash fiction story here:

I always thought you’d kinda know, in the back of your mind, if you’d gone insane. But now I don’t know … 

Everyone tells me I’ve lost my marbles. Scary thing is I’m almost starting to believe them. 

I don’t remember doing it. I do remember being the only one there … alone … I thought I was alone. 

I’ve never even dreamed of doing something like this. But you tell me I did. I think maybe you’re right. 
No, I’m afraid you’re right. 
What if you’re right? 

The evidence points to me. I’ve always said facts over feelings.
Yet I feel … 
No, I must be insane. 
I must be … 

But there’s this nagging feeling at the back of my mind screaming that everyone is lying to me. Especially you. 
And know I don’t hear voices. 
That’s my instincts screaming. 
I think. 

But what if I am hearing voices? What if my instincts are dead? 

Can a mad woman rationalize her own insanity? Can a sane woman trust her best friends and family when they say she isn’t “all there”? 

Fine. I’ll submit myself to the ward. 
I want to trust you just as much as I desire my mind to be whole. 

More than the idea of being crazy, I fear that maybe I’m the only sane one and that you lied to me. 

But I’m willing to be locked away forever to trust you. 
Is this how innocent people become imprisoned? 
I believe so … 

Or maybe I’m not innocent …

Oh, I have a new pinned tweet on twitter ;) 

And my Wattpad rankings are starting to look good and make me happy ... if you're a Wattpad reader, you can find me here. 

I wasn't going to join CampNaNo ... I mean, I still planned to write a ton like always, but I didn't feel like I had time to be social online. But ... one of my friends hinted at being apart of an awesome cabin ... and how could I say no? The day before I signed up for my first ever Camp NaNo. And I just went crazy with is, since the book I'm working on is pretty crazy. 

I'm especially proud of the section that shares what my hobbies are ... ;D 

Life: 

 I've been looking for a nice cotton plaid shirt for a long time ... so excited to find one I love! And it looks so nice with my linen dress ;D

Still working my way through this amazing-but-long book. I don't think I've finished reading through any books this month (besides audiobooks). Where's life gone? What have I become? 

I'm trying, I really am. 

My sister and I (and hopefully a friend) want to try hiking every Saturday. Here's the first one down! See the guns? "Lions and tigers and bears, oh my, you better watch out!" 

When I'm getting fashion photos and my friend thinks it'll be fun to photobomb me, and I decide to embrace the moment ... "The Phoenix has risen and it has two head." 

Mid-April, one of the ladies I clean for passed away from her cancer. She was one of the sweetest ladies I knew, and it's going to be sad cleaning her house without her there (I'll still be cleaning for her husband). Though I only knew her for about a year, her death has me really thinking about life and everything I do in general ... and how, even when she knew she had only a few weeks left, she was still so others-focused. I plan to dedicate a post to her soon. 

My family went to a Seder dinner last weekend, and it was AMAZING! The food was simple yet delicious, and it was so fun being surrounded by people that believed a little more like us and not having to worry if the food was Kosher/ clean or not. 

(My family is not Jewish nor Hebraic, but we share some of the same beliefs). 

We don't celebrate Easter (it's pagan, lol) and we don't really celebrate Passover (we're too lazy) but we had fun being with people that do both this year ... my sisters and I didn't wear bright colors for once, though ... guess, we wanted to mourn the marriage of paganism and Christianity ;)

 After church on Easter, we went to a Passover gettogether ... and they said we "had" to wear name tags. But they didn't say that we "had" to put our real names on the tags ... so we didn't.

Oh, and believe it or not, despite my smile, there was a nail jabbing my spine ... and it HURT. 

Cat 'n the hat, Bob, and Spot ... crazy thing is people were actually confused and couldn't figure out if the middle sister's name was Bekah or Bob  ;p 

Friends on the left side of me, (some of my) siblings on the right side. 

I have this problem that's actually the opposite of a real problem but still feels like a problem. I currently have fifteen posts scheduled (including my Susan serials), fifteen posts READY to be posted, and ten ideas waiting to be written. At times I'm afraid some of this content will never find time to be posted because only so much can be posted at once ... but all that being said, I'm really excited about the content I'm releasing next month. 

And I have some exciting things in the works in my life happening right now that I hope I'll be able to share about in next month's wrap up. But we shall see ;D 

SOMETHING I HATE:
That the world is so large and all my friends are so far apart, and that most of my friends don't know each other ... I dream of a day when all my friends are best friends, too, and when we all can get ten or more hours of sleep EVERY night.
Yeah, not a real "hate". But this month it's hard to think of something to hate.

AND... 

SOMETHING I LOVE: 

I realized there's an app for Pandora. And wow I love having so much good music in one place for free. Basically free ;p Here are the stations I have so far ... any recommendations? Do you have/ like Pandora?



How's April been for you? Been able to get outside much? Do you have any Pandora recommendations for me? Do you have anything deep on your mind that you'd love to share with me? What do you hate/ love this month?
And this post is long ... but didn't I start out by telling you that so was this month? ;)