What I WON'T Do IF I Ever Become A Bestselling Author

I would so love to see my books on store shelves someday. It would be amazing if I had fans that raved about my stories and ranted in ways I'd never do (because I'm very calm, for the most part). And if they did this in public. I'd be happy, even approve, of such unacceptable behavior.

Call me a hypocrite, I don't care ;)

Of course, my ultimate goal is to just write a story that touches others. Money and popularity are NOT the reason I write. 
But dreams can go beyond goals, yes? 


IF I EVER BECOME A BESTSELLING AUTHOR I WON'T . . . 


. . . believe it. How could I? My stories aren't near good enough . . . are they!?

Is it the glasses, or am I just bad at dramatic selfies? ;D 
. . . buy a brand new sports car. Because that's just a waste of money. Practical and cheap will still work very well for me.

Love my Volvo ;D 
. . . quit cleaning houses. Now I might clean less. But I don't think I could ever stop completely. I believe that humans are designed to do physical work, and a lot of it. Of course, I wouldn't need as much money, so I think I'd only work for my favorite people and not take on new houses. And since I don't need money I'd only charge them a small fee, say like $5 an hour (so I could still feel like I'm making money with my hands). But don't tell this to any of my housecleaning clients. What if I change my mind if become a bestselling author and they hold me to my word???

Check out my cleaning comedy Instagram, a_cleaning_gal
. . . buy a mansion. I plan to live out in the country in a small cabin surrounded by trees and a stream. Or maybe if I remain single I'll travel forever, visiting all my friends. Either way, no billionaire home for me.

. . . acquire new things. I'd rather be a happy minimalist with money than a suffocated hoarder without money. 

. . . eat out everyday. Just because I have money doesn't mean I'll waste it. Seriously.

. . . ever stop playing with legos. Too many good things waiting to be built, ya'll.

Yes, I made this. No, I wasn't bored. 
. . . stop feeding my sourdough. 

. . . go on cruises and endless vacations. Now, I'm sure I'll get some hate on this one. But in all honesty I don't see the point of either. I like to spend time with my friends, enjoying the time together. I hate spending money on frivolous things. And vacations are frivolous. "They're relaxing," you say. But are they??? Everyone talks about needing to recuperate after a vacation. And here I am doing just fine with my day off to sleep (Sabbath). Vacations, in my opinion, are another modern way of excusing selfishness and excessive spending. And I should probably stop talking about it as I could write a whole post on THIS before I realize it.

. . . become dependent. I am a strong lover of self-reliance. I'll do my own cleaning, my own driving, my own errands, my own writing. 

. . . become a vegetarian. I really love venison. I also LOOOOOOVVVVEEE Greek Yogurt. 

I baked seeds in my sourdough! Greek yogurt has fresh peaches, goji berries, pumpkin seeds, sesame seeds, monk sweetener, 100% chocolate chips, and beef collagen. 
. . . forget about yard sales and thrift stores. Loyalty is a virtue. 

. . . buy a library. Just kidding, I actually already did this. 

. . . stop being me. I'll dress however I like (strange mixture of classy and hippie) and I'll act as crazy as I please. Maybe crazier though? 

This jumper is vintage AND linen AND made in USA 
. . . quit writing. But then I don't ever plan to do that.

I can't believer my brother took this picture. He is NOT a photographer. Yet . . . maybe he is???

What would you NOT do if you were a bestselling author?