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Obsidian Blackbird.'s avatar

This was fantastic.

I have always been a student of culture and manners.

Those with good manners get accepted

Those with bad manners are rejected

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I always stand up when a woman or important man enters a room.

I always offer refreshments to visitors.

I don't discuss politics, sex or religion with people unless I know them very very well.

The above are pretty normal for New Zealand.

We are a good manners country.

No shoes inside.. as it's a rural land.

Even when I was homeless, I had good manners and it helped a lot.

Thanks for writing that!

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Keturah Hickman's avatar

my husband says that even when he looked his roughest as a traveling vagabond, the moment he started speaking (he's very genteel and mannerly and has a great vocabulary) people would do a double take and begin to take him seriously.

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Amelia Buzzard's avatar

I love this language of “mannerly” and “mannered” and the deep relationship between politeness and morality. As a youngster, I thought politeness was phony, but now I'm wondering if I thought that because I was conflating politeness with political correctness. Political correctness serves to totally avoid conflict and flatten difference, which kills the possibility of deeper relationships. True politeness or "mannerliness" serves to resolve conflict and mediate difference in a way that enables relationships.

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Keturah Hickman's avatar

What a great distinction!

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Familia Stone's avatar

"Trad" is short for "traditional." Tradition only occurs within a context. Are we speaking of the Mayan, the Mongolese, the Cherokee or the Congolese; perhaps the Irish or the Swede; maybe the Quechua or Japanese? There is such potential for depth of perspective when considering the ethnic variety of the people to whom you may be communicating.

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Keturah Hickman's avatar

Yes, that's true. I should've probably said something to address that, but this series will mostly be about traditional conservative Christianity -- which already has a lot of caveats of it's own. The second part will have questions from someone with a Holiness affiliation, and another from a Baptist background, etc. The series will also have a Westernized perspective, because even if we can appreciate the cultures of elsewhere, we are still programmed to react in certain ways according to our own culture, so it's good to first understand what it is we like or reject fully about our own.

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Obsidian Blackbird.'s avatar

Manners maketh the man.

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