Dear Keturah, I read this article with great curiosity and interest a few months back. I grew up in a liberal, atheist, European family so naturally, no one ever discussed whether pants or dresses were appropriate for women. These topics were not even on my radar. If anything, I wear pants most of the time out of habit. When I lived in an African country however, I wore dresses most of the time because its really hot and all women there wear dresses and skirts most of the time. I was not even allowed inside a public building if I wore pants or open-toe sandals, to my great surprise !
After pregnancy and the many changes my body went through, I started to have problems with pants. There are too tight, unconfortable, do not adjust to the ebbs and flows of my waist and my belly. But still, I didn't really consciously allowed myself to mostly wear skirts. I wore those horrible leggings or out of shape pants for months, looking shaby and feeling embarassed at my appearance.
After reading your article, it kinda brewed in my mind over a few weeks..... so I gave it a go. Found a beautiful skirt at a second hand shop and I just love it: it is so confortable, so freeing to not be ensnared in tight pants.... I got myself a couple more here and there and have been trying to be more intentionnal in how I dress. Just a very interesting development all around so I wanted to give you a feedback :) have a great day
Wow I had no idea it as that way in Africa — I know it is in many other countries, mostly Muslim! Thank you so much for sharing this little story with me. Warms my heart!
The robe itself - very plain - is by itself a fairly androgynous garment, in many ways because it hides and obscures the human form. But when it develops, and conforms more to the skin, it takes on the attributes of that body which lies beneath it. A monk's cord begins to show (or not show) their hips. The aspects of a dress begin to accentuate a woman's hips and breasts. A bishop's vestments, layered on, have a gravitas that only makes sense in the masculine, and would be betrayed by feminine curves.
That there is a more elegant form of clothing for both men and women does not demolish the idea that it would not develop into different things for both sexes.
Beautifully written, Keturah. I admire how deeply you've thought this out. I don't know if I missed it, but did you fully explain your reason for your conviction of women wearing skirts/dresses only here (beyond dressing like a lady)? Is it because of the history of pants being used as a wartime garment? We wouldn't consider pants being exclusively "that which pertaineth to a man" today, but of course that's the crux of your essay, so I'm just wondering if I missed something major.
I've written on the topic quite a bit in various ways -- in this essay I mostly chose to try to stick to the idea of what pants even represent and how cross-dressing for women but not men yet had corroded culturally. Probably my main reason for wearing dresses and not pants is more simply put that I think it's more beautiful and dignifying to the female ethos, which I wrote about in more detail here:
You touched a lot of points here, all necessary and well done. Sex is closely regulated in Scripture and we should not give one inch. Dress is cultural, albeit with an enormously important principle deeply imbedded. You did it justice. It has been a very long time since I have seen anyone call a woman in a leadership role a curse on both men and the woman. Very well articulated. I suspect that may be the heart of the Deut passage you cited. Men have always, since Adam, been prone to abdicate the leadership role given them by God.
Blessings on you and the family you carry, and care for.
Yes, the point was made to me years ago, and it’s stuck with me. It’s always a shame when women feel like they are forced to do what men won’t do. It further wounds men, and causes women to feel less womanly. Pants fully symbolize this in my opinion, even outside of being merely a garment of war. Thank you for your thoughts and well-wishes!
I really like this. I just wrote a piece about Dante's Purgatorio, and how Beatrice steps into a masculine role in order to lead Dante to see her rightly (as playing the role of Christ to him) before he can see her in her feminine glory, as she looks at Christ. It affords an analysis similar to the one you gave to Joan of Arc et al, women stepping into masculine roles when men can't be masculine. As this subject is on your mind I'd highly recommend reading Purgatorio cantos 30 and 31 with a view to this.
I need to bookmark this to read with my daughters after they get older and experience more of the culture. They, of their own choice, only wear pants under duress (for modesty). Personally my favorite trousers have always been the “divided pants” look, but that’s probably indulging in some vanity the saintly priest would rightly rebuke. You earned a follower with this one! Blessings to you and your family!
This is such an interesting topic and I'm not sure where I stand on it. I appreciate the nuance and historical accuracy you've pursued. Despite sharing many of your views regarding femininity, I still wear pants quite frequently. I feel I can do this without sacrificing my beauty/feminine grace. On the other hand, my feeling of a kind of unique power and stature when I do wear dresses is undeniable. Dresses force us to be more considerate and intentional about our presentation. You can't really wear a dress and then leave your hair untended or your shoes slipshod. You can get away with this more in pants. For this I see the inherent superiority of dresses in the way they inspire and generate more beauty... Great piece and great food for thought.
It’s easy for me to write simply because I’ve never worn pants but to try them on and I HATED how it felt. Only boyish cuts looked good on me, which didn’t help the matter at all. I also found I was always treated with a ton of respect by men while traveling, and I loved that. Made me feel like a rose among thorns.
Yes I think it's also a matter of habit. I've worn them all my life but that has meant that I've fallen into what is probably a false dichotomy that pants are for "everyday" use and dresses for "special occasions". I've just invested in a good pair of merino wool stockings so I can make better use of my dresses throughout winter this year (which is coming up in Australia) and not always resort to pants... we'll see how I go!
Good luck on the winter experiment! I wear a lot of wool leggings in the winter time under my skirts! I have to say, I’m not sure how women usually wear just leggings because I have to mend mine so often they’d be embarrassing to wear without a dress lol!
Can we mention another reason women took so long to wear pants? It should be evident to any woman that has gone camping. In pants, you expose your backside to pee. Wasn't an issue in Asian countries, where that is more accepted. Men in dresses? Looks dumb to me, except for kilts.
Very interesting. So much to think about here! I did a lot of Latin dancing / ballroom dancing 15-20 years ago. It was something my friends and I did when we were single and later when I met my future husband he took ballroom lessons with me. I remember awkward sweaty men and a few who didn’t know where to put their hands but never men wearing dresses. Men learned lead, women learned follow, and unless you were a teaching assistant you stuck to that.
Recently I went to a Latin dance workshop that was geared toward educators. They taught us both lead and follow, which makes sense if you are going to teach dance. However, apparently even when teaching students who have never danced they now teach everybody lead and follow so you can pick what you want regardless of whether you are male or female. I found it quite difficult to learn both the lead and follow part, and especially to switch between them all the time. It is much more relaxing to just dance a follow part.
But what was most amusing to me was the other women. I am a pretty experienced dancer, so I would ask my female partners if they had a preference to lead or follow, since we all learned both parts and could choose. Every woman I danced with would simper and demure and avoid deciding. Finally I decided to dance lead all the time, because then I could get used to one role and I didn’t have to keep asking.
Role switching can be kind of fun, but I think forcing people to do it all the time (in whatever sphere of life) gets tiresome. My daughters and I currently do Ukrainian dance. We have a decent component of boys and men in the club, and women and men have very different costumes and roles. I’m quite happy about this.
I’ve had the same experience in the dancing world. I found the switching between roles helpful ONLY after I’d grown comfortable dancing in general. However, I absolutely hate it when a man asks me (unless we’re good friends and want to have fun) if I prefer lead or follow. A lot of the dances I attend don’t even use that verbiage anymore though … it’s raven or lark. And even though I’ve gone to a lot of dances that refer it to raven or lark I still don’t know which is which and it messes me up every time. The dancing world is certainly different than what it was when you grew up. It’s very nongendered. Cross dressing and role swapping are common. Even if you’re a Christian conservative, you don’t say much about it because everyone is there to dance, not argue politics. Now that I think about it, that in itself is funny because didn’t people used to love to discuss politics at old dances? I’m thinking of the Jane Austen descriptions of ballroom culture. A lot has changed, and I’m only partially aware of it since I only know all these things as they are now, or from reading old books.
This was comprehensivly one of the most thought-out and well communicated writings on this topic I have read! Thank you for taking the time and thought to present these considerations to those who care to read them.
Dear Keturah, I read this article with great curiosity and interest a few months back. I grew up in a liberal, atheist, European family so naturally, no one ever discussed whether pants or dresses were appropriate for women. These topics were not even on my radar. If anything, I wear pants most of the time out of habit. When I lived in an African country however, I wore dresses most of the time because its really hot and all women there wear dresses and skirts most of the time. I was not even allowed inside a public building if I wore pants or open-toe sandals, to my great surprise !
After pregnancy and the many changes my body went through, I started to have problems with pants. There are too tight, unconfortable, do not adjust to the ebbs and flows of my waist and my belly. But still, I didn't really consciously allowed myself to mostly wear skirts. I wore those horrible leggings or out of shape pants for months, looking shaby and feeling embarassed at my appearance.
After reading your article, it kinda brewed in my mind over a few weeks..... so I gave it a go. Found a beautiful skirt at a second hand shop and I just love it: it is so confortable, so freeing to not be ensnared in tight pants.... I got myself a couple more here and there and have been trying to be more intentionnal in how I dress. Just a very interesting development all around so I wanted to give you a feedback :) have a great day
Wow I had no idea it as that way in Africa — I know it is in many other countries, mostly Muslim! Thank you so much for sharing this little story with me. Warms my heart!
This is very interesting.
The robe itself - very plain - is by itself a fairly androgynous garment, in many ways because it hides and obscures the human form. But when it develops, and conforms more to the skin, it takes on the attributes of that body which lies beneath it. A monk's cord begins to show (or not show) their hips. The aspects of a dress begin to accentuate a woman's hips and breasts. A bishop's vestments, layered on, have a gravitas that only makes sense in the masculine, and would be betrayed by feminine curves.
That there is a more elegant form of clothing for both men and women does not demolish the idea that it would not develop into different things for both sexes.
Beautifully written, Keturah. I admire how deeply you've thought this out. I don't know if I missed it, but did you fully explain your reason for your conviction of women wearing skirts/dresses only here (beyond dressing like a lady)? Is it because of the history of pants being used as a wartime garment? We wouldn't consider pants being exclusively "that which pertaineth to a man" today, but of course that's the crux of your essay, so I'm just wondering if I missed something major.
I've written on the topic quite a bit in various ways -- in this essay I mostly chose to try to stick to the idea of what pants even represent and how cross-dressing for women but not men yet had corroded culturally. Probably my main reason for wearing dresses and not pants is more simply put that I think it's more beautiful and dignifying to the female ethos, which I wrote about in more detail here:
https://open.substack.com/pub/livingroomconversations/p/earbuds-blue-jeans-and-the-homogenized?r=gua3u&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false
Thanks! I'll give it a read.
As always, I so appreciate your work. It is always thought-provoking and inspiring as well. :)
(I am eagerly awaiting your practical guide to wearing dresses!)
You touched a lot of points here, all necessary and well done. Sex is closely regulated in Scripture and we should not give one inch. Dress is cultural, albeit with an enormously important principle deeply imbedded. You did it justice. It has been a very long time since I have seen anyone call a woman in a leadership role a curse on both men and the woman. Very well articulated. I suspect that may be the heart of the Deut passage you cited. Men have always, since Adam, been prone to abdicate the leadership role given them by God.
Blessings on you and the family you carry, and care for.
Yes, the point was made to me years ago, and it’s stuck with me. It’s always a shame when women feel like they are forced to do what men won’t do. It further wounds men, and causes women to feel less womanly. Pants fully symbolize this in my opinion, even outside of being merely a garment of war. Thank you for your thoughts and well-wishes!
I really like this. I just wrote a piece about Dante's Purgatorio, and how Beatrice steps into a masculine role in order to lead Dante to see her rightly (as playing the role of Christ to him) before he can see her in her feminine glory, as she looks at Christ. It affords an analysis similar to the one you gave to Joan of Arc et al, women stepping into masculine roles when men can't be masculine. As this subject is on your mind I'd highly recommend reading Purgatorio cantos 30 and 31 with a view to this.
I need to bookmark this to read with my daughters after they get older and experience more of the culture. They, of their own choice, only wear pants under duress (for modesty). Personally my favorite trousers have always been the “divided pants” look, but that’s probably indulging in some vanity the saintly priest would rightly rebuke. You earned a follower with this one! Blessings to you and your family!
This is such an interesting topic and I'm not sure where I stand on it. I appreciate the nuance and historical accuracy you've pursued. Despite sharing many of your views regarding femininity, I still wear pants quite frequently. I feel I can do this without sacrificing my beauty/feminine grace. On the other hand, my feeling of a kind of unique power and stature when I do wear dresses is undeniable. Dresses force us to be more considerate and intentional about our presentation. You can't really wear a dress and then leave your hair untended or your shoes slipshod. You can get away with this more in pants. For this I see the inherent superiority of dresses in the way they inspire and generate more beauty... Great piece and great food for thought.
It’s easy for me to write simply because I’ve never worn pants but to try them on and I HATED how it felt. Only boyish cuts looked good on me, which didn’t help the matter at all. I also found I was always treated with a ton of respect by men while traveling, and I loved that. Made me feel like a rose among thorns.
Yes I think it's also a matter of habit. I've worn them all my life but that has meant that I've fallen into what is probably a false dichotomy that pants are for "everyday" use and dresses for "special occasions". I've just invested in a good pair of merino wool stockings so I can make better use of my dresses throughout winter this year (which is coming up in Australia) and not always resort to pants... we'll see how I go!
Good luck on the winter experiment! I wear a lot of wool leggings in the winter time under my skirts! I have to say, I’m not sure how women usually wear just leggings because I have to mend mine so often they’d be embarrassing to wear without a dress lol!
Can we mention another reason women took so long to wear pants? It should be evident to any woman that has gone camping. In pants, you expose your backside to pee. Wasn't an issue in Asian countries, where that is more accepted. Men in dresses? Looks dumb to me, except for kilts.
I love babies in dresses though! I'm not letting our sons wear pants until they're potty trained.
I see merit in that approach.
Thank you for this Keturah. As someone with a difficult relationship with pants and gender.
Very interesting. So much to think about here! I did a lot of Latin dancing / ballroom dancing 15-20 years ago. It was something my friends and I did when we were single and later when I met my future husband he took ballroom lessons with me. I remember awkward sweaty men and a few who didn’t know where to put their hands but never men wearing dresses. Men learned lead, women learned follow, and unless you were a teaching assistant you stuck to that.
Recently I went to a Latin dance workshop that was geared toward educators. They taught us both lead and follow, which makes sense if you are going to teach dance. However, apparently even when teaching students who have never danced they now teach everybody lead and follow so you can pick what you want regardless of whether you are male or female. I found it quite difficult to learn both the lead and follow part, and especially to switch between them all the time. It is much more relaxing to just dance a follow part.
But what was most amusing to me was the other women. I am a pretty experienced dancer, so I would ask my female partners if they had a preference to lead or follow, since we all learned both parts and could choose. Every woman I danced with would simper and demure and avoid deciding. Finally I decided to dance lead all the time, because then I could get used to one role and I didn’t have to keep asking.
Role switching can be kind of fun, but I think forcing people to do it all the time (in whatever sphere of life) gets tiresome. My daughters and I currently do Ukrainian dance. We have a decent component of boys and men in the club, and women and men have very different costumes and roles. I’m quite happy about this.
I’ve had the same experience in the dancing world. I found the switching between roles helpful ONLY after I’d grown comfortable dancing in general. However, I absolutely hate it when a man asks me (unless we’re good friends and want to have fun) if I prefer lead or follow. A lot of the dances I attend don’t even use that verbiage anymore though … it’s raven or lark. And even though I’ve gone to a lot of dances that refer it to raven or lark I still don’t know which is which and it messes me up every time. The dancing world is certainly different than what it was when you grew up. It’s very nongendered. Cross dressing and role swapping are common. Even if you’re a Christian conservative, you don’t say much about it because everyone is there to dance, not argue politics. Now that I think about it, that in itself is funny because didn’t people used to love to discuss politics at old dances? I’m thinking of the Jane Austen descriptions of ballroom culture. A lot has changed, and I’m only partially aware of it since I only know all these things as they are now, or from reading old books.
Raven and lark? Haha oh my. Thanks for the update. I’ll just be over here staying in my lane 🤣
This was comprehensivly one of the most thought-out and well communicated writings on this topic I have read! Thank you for taking the time and thought to present these considerations to those who care to read them.
Thank you!!