Six Invalid Reasons to Discredit Cults

Honor Your Father and Your Mother

The Twelve Tribes

When you say you like your neighbors

Do you mean all of them? 

Or just the ones like you? 

Sure, you like those whose skin isn't like yours

But do you like those who don't  

Sing and talk like you do?

It's funny how often I've heard a lot of rural (even city) people speak on how much they love their community.

They'll say, "I love my neighbors, but I hate the Amish.”

Ironically, many of these people would be appalled if accused of racism. They have accepted the Italians, the Jews, the Irish, and the Japanese among them as American neighbors. They may or may not want a wall, but they are kindly toward Mexicans.

They wouldn't dream of grumbling about sharing the water fountain or a bus seat with the black woman. . . but why should they share the road with the buggy? 

There is an undeniable, irrational hatred for religious communities who don't follow the status quo. 

An old timer will complain about how corporations are destroying the land. But he won't give thanks when the Amish family buys the land that would certainly have been turned into another stench-pit factory. He wants neither. He doesn't want the world changed. Neither does he want to be inconvenienced and forced to drive slower around a pile of small boys in a pony cart. 

Oh, but if only my  children weren't glued to their screens, he laments. Oh, I’ll never let my kids play with the Amish kids, though. They are cruel to their dogs, you know.

It isn't just the Amish communities who get hate. These same things are said about Latter Day Saints, The Twelve Tribes¹, Seventh Day Adventists, The Jim Roberts Group², Hutterites³, Orthodox Jews, and the weird, large family who all wear dresses and don’t play sports. Non religious groups such as rainbow hippies and woke communes also receive a lot of flack simply because they aren't pitching into the global vision of what it  means to be a 21st century man or woman. 

Cult-esque communities are universally desired and despised. 

"Outsiders" want community more than anything, but they've been so conditioned to pursue the dreams of self, they wonder if a community might stifle their humanity. Or worse yet, cause them irreparable harm. Perhaps you are hesitating to join a specific community because you've heard rumors of scandals, abuse, and oppression. You've read "Educated", "Unorthodox"⁴, and all the various newspaper clippings on why Religion is basically one large cult. Maybe you even know some ex-members⁵ of some weird sect. You know all the bad there is to know about a community. And yet you want it whatever it is — if you’re honest and humble. You want community. 

Maybe you were raised in one of these religious sects, and you’re asking yourself, “Why should I leave if I am happy? Why should I dishonor my mother and father for the sake of freedom?”

There will always be disgruntled people who will have a book of complaints to write. They will have justifiable gripes. They will turn their back on everything they were brought up believing. For every such book are many, many sincerely satisfied members of that community or family. 

I've made a hobby out of visiting various Christian and liberal communities over the years, taking lots of notes for the day I might join or co-establish my own. I joke about loving cults (it's no joke, I just know better than to fear them). My anti-establishment sentiments would never allow me to join something that is not thoroughly of my own upbringing. 

I remain enticed — I support the existence of healthy, Christian cults and don’t find it a noble calling to encourage anyone to leave the tradition of their youth.

Memoirs about ex-cult members in various walks of life fascinate the general populace, I believe. Especially when the stories center around a prodigal-son or daughter-who-doesn't-return. While the reviews of such books rave about how these people were saved from some horrid lifestyle, the alternative is always so boring and the reader is left — with the ex-member — mired in bitterness. These people leave their communities and heritage, and then are left with... nothing except the knowledge that they can be whoever they want to be  — they can be like everyone else.  They are now allowed to wear the homogenized clothes of the secular world, and pay taxes, and have a career and a “proper” education. They are free. But instead of being happy, they are angry and confused and hate their family for being weird.

These books paint a picture of despair, and offer no hope. They forfeit roots to gain corporate status. Very uninspiring, and yet people gobble up the books. I wonder though, if they sell so well because everyone deep down wants something they've come to believe unattainable. Readers pick up the book... curious to maybe find a place to belong... then feel justified in continuing on in some bland, friendless existence. 

The most interesting parts of these books are never the end. We pick up the books because we want a little of what the writer gave up. And yet, we are glad for the ending, because we’ve convinced ourselves that leaving was inevitable… it was the only way. 

And yet, for so many more — for those who remain in their “cults” this will never be true.

Here are the reasons people disqualify a cult — and why a lot of people stay anyway. 

1. Sex Scandals

There is no hiding from potential sexual harassment. From the humblest Hutterite colony to the tallest corporate tower, it is easy to find some degenerate ready to molest an innocent victim. The flavor of sexual sins change depending on the dynamics of the community.

The crew of HMS Bounty mutinied at the turn of the nineteenth century and settled on Pitcairn Island. Predominantly Seventh Day Church members, they lived as an isolated community for a couple decades until they were discovered. They continued to sustain themselves with occasional visits from ships with books and spices for a about a hundred and fifty years. They had little fame until several men were convicted of various sexual crimes. Despite centuries of a peaceable existence, the news painted them as some horrendous religious cult because of these offenses.

Just a few years ago, the Catholic church, too, was under a similar state-wide heat when the media wrote inflammatory stories of priests sodomizing altar boys. When the FBI held the Branch Davidians church under siege in Waco, Texas, and murdered seventeen children, they somehow justified their actions to the public eyes because the children had been molested and abused. (I still don't understand how people could so easily be duped into thinking that it's ok for FEDS to kill children just because their parents  sexually harmed them). To divert attention away from the deaths of the children, the media proclaimed the tragic deaths of four ATF men. Most likely, these men had died while killing children. 

The list could go on from the Duggars’ reality show about their nineteen children, to the various scandals of the Twelve Tribes, to countless accounts of incest among the Amish. 

There are bountiful stories that attest even those who appear the most pure have skeletons in their closet. 

However, Sex scandals are a cop-out attack. If one doesn't like a group, one calls them a cult and says, "I know someone that was sexually abused in their group." It really doesn't matter if the group did anything about it or not, opinion has been tainted. The group is condemned. 

And yet, sex scandals are not exclusive to communities or cults. They happen in the real world everyday all the time. While incest might be common among the Amish this is only because Amish live in communities of large families, therefore the likelihood that children will be molested by a relative is high. Meanwhile, pedophilia still happens in schools, daycare, on sports teams, and in secular working environments - but families are smaller and most likely not related to each other so the the children who are molested are often molested by friends or acquaintances. The same thing is happening in both words. Incest is gross, but it’s just as awful as pedophilia or rape or sex-trafficking. 

The sexual sins of a community should offer little shock value or credibility. This point is not enough to tip the boat. Show me a place that doesn't have abuse; you will have pointed to heaven. 

“He who is without sin may cast the first stone.”

One may argue that while this is true, cults and communities cover up their scandals and the outside world imprisons its perpetrators. Firstly, this is false. Just look at our politicians. Secondly, who says just because they haven't involved the law of the land that they haven't dealt with the matters in a way that the community has agreed upon? Certainly there are many cases of abuse that go unresolved in both the secular and religious worlds. But there are just as many communities that wisely separate the accused from the victim, and offer them both spiritual help. Meanwhile the secular world has no offer of redemption, and just as often no true vindication. 

If one doesn't like the methods of dealing with wrong in their religious community, they are free to leave. Refusing to immerse oneself into a community because of these sorts of rumors though is foolish. Instead, find out how they deal with the offender, and decide if they handle matters in a way that suits the conscience. 

There's no avoiding it. There's no perfect community. Unless you wish to live alone as a hermit, just you and your own sins, it's optimal to choose a place that exemplifies the most virtues, despite their vices. 

If you choose to leave the tradition of your youth and hate your mother and father for the lifestyle you were raised in, you are in for a world of disappointment. The secular world, too, is filled with horrendous injustices.

2. The Women are Oppressed

This one always makes me laugh. Sure, some women are oppressed. But it's awfully pretentious of an outsider (especially if you make yourself an outsider by not being friendly with your neighbors) to look at those one doesn't know and decide that they are oppressed. Many of those women would mock you the moment you turned your back . . . possibly to your face, in another language, while cooking with a spice you can’t spell.

"Me!? Oppressed? Ha." 

The modern woman believes herself to be a boss-girl as she drives a car that she pays to have maintained, wearing stylish clothing that children in China made, driving to some job doing mediocre corporate work. Maybe she owns a business. Most likely she's eating packaged food grown by women she believes inferior to herself. 

Meanwhile the "oppressed" women are ‘girl bosses’ in their own right. She drives the horses, and makes the clothes, and grows her food all while half-naked children scream in the backyard and she runs some farm or home-centered business. Many Amish women (and other women in aforementioned communities) are so successful at what they do, their husbands are able to be home and work alongside them. She's got him so well pressed under her thumb that he wouldn't dare think of beating her into a submissive doormat. Why would he even want to? She’s bringing him glory.

If she isn't Amish, she probably isn't driving horses. The Orthodox Jewish and Twelve Tribes women though are still some of the most ingenious, capable women I've ever met. Just go and try to tell them they are victims of the patriarchy while they concoct some wondrous stew in their kitchens. You might get a well deserved slap across the face.

I recently hung around such an Amish woman. After half a day helping her around the place, she admitted she was in a little pain. But there was more work to do. She told me, "If I weren't Amish I'd probably be handicapped. Thankfully, I'm Amish and encouraged to do what I want."

“But they look tired. They eyes are not lit up with passion,” I’ve heard secular women say of the Twelve Tribes Women, even as their own eyes are lackluster and their own faces are weary from the obligations of their careers and every day life. Are these women’s husbands shouting at them? Probably not near as much as a CEO yells at his secretaries. 

Yes, there are Amish women who are timid from a good too many beatings. I've also seen normal women with the same rabbit-eye stare. Oppressed women exist. But often they aren't where you'd think they'd be. 

Domestic violence stat women vs men 

3. Puppy Mills and Animal Abuse

Old Order Mennonites have a reputation of facilitating puppy mills. I know this must be true, because I've heard many people say so. I've never witnessed it first hand, and I know a lot of Mennonites. I do know that some Anabaptists are cruel to their animals. When my family lived with the Amish for three years my younger brother would often save little sparrows from being senselessly crushed by other little boys. Everyone knew there were certain men in the community who you just wouldn't buy a horse from. I've seen Amish men kick their dogs when they were angry, just as they probably later hit their children and wives when they are all indoors. These things happen, and they are not to be justified. 

As in all things, it is wise to be cautious before throwing blanket accusations at entire communities because of horrific actions of a few members. I sincerely believe that when these stories come out, they are coming from someone who is embittered or who is looking to farm engagement. 

"Oh, you think the Old Order Mennonites are so wholesome? Well, look at how they raise puppies." 

It's important to note that there is a difference in values, and I believe this should be given a moment of time. A lot of people are coddled and seek comfort first. Community-minded people don’t function this way. Animals are a member of their lifestyle. They don't have dogs to cuddle with anymore than Siberian trappers do. They are an integral part of life, and sometimes they think it's necessary to whip their dogs to train them to their boundaries and to do certain tasks. You must use caution when judging other people for doing these things when you come from a very different bubble. If you lose your pet, you've lost nothing but a few tears. If they lose a good dog, they've lost years of effort and a necessary farm-hand. Sometimes you may be witnessing animal abuse, other times you may simply have stumbled upon someone disciplining a well-loved dog. 

Someone called the sheriff on one of my brothers—a very gentle natured kid—when he was fourteen. None of us had ever kicked or hit any of our animals. But we had an outside dog that went berserk when it stormed. If it went into its shed before the rain started, it was fine. But the dog hadn't managed to find shelter this time, and was outdoors, running in panicked circles and howling. My brother went out into the storm, chased it down, and had to drag it and force it into its shed. We lived on a well trafficked road, and a woman driving by thought she knew what she saw. She called the Sheriff.

My brother explained the situation to the sheriff—someone who knew us well, and we went to church with his mother. But he felt obliged to give my brother a lecture on animal abuse all the same and said, "Did you really need to force the dog into the shed if it didn't want to go inside?" 

My brother was easily pushed into tears. We were all appalled at the accusation, aroused by a busybody and sustained by an ignorant officer. He didn't ticket us—my mother and I would have put up a fuss that the sheriff didn't wish to contend with. But he left my brother feeling like he'd done the wrong thing even though the sheriff couldn't tell my brother what he should have done instead. 

Often enough, if you're passing someone you don't know, you can't be sure you're witnessing animal abuse. The same can be said of puppy mills. Personally, I don't think it's kind to keep dogs as pets at all, and that most people who complain about mills make them necessary by having pets. So I don't understand why they get outraged against them in the first place, unless they're trying to eradicate pet ownership. 

All the same, these reasons are isolated to certain members of communities, and are not reason enough to disavow whole groups of people anymore than you can determine an entire city is bad because of one neighbor with pit-bulls and fighter roosters. 

4. Child Labor and Inadequate Education 

In her memoir “Educated”, Tara Westover claimed it was impossible for her to get an education because her family didn’t prioritize it, nor allow it. However she also wrote that she attended high school semi-regularly. Mostly it seemed her parents were volatile and prone to changing their minds about her education. While Tara claims to be a victim of her upbringing, there are many others raised just like her who took it upon themselves to learn just what they wished despite the circumstances. Honestly, the memoir falls flat partially because of how very easy it is to read and study whatever you want in this era, mostly because books are very accessible online and at thrift stores, and because abusive parents are usually the least attentive and don’t have enough interest in their child to monitor them at all hours. 

Whether you’re homeschooled or public-schooled, an individual must choose their education despite circumstances. My husband and I both have this in common. He was public educated, and I was homeschooled, and yet we both loved to study and were largely self-educated from the age of twelve upward. We are not unique or special. We simply loved learning, and t0ok more on our plates than was required of us.

Besides how easy it is to acquire an education, the fault can’t be put on the religious element of her upbringing. She was Mormon. Most Mormons are very well educated. However, there are many dysfunctional families who aren’t religious whose children don’t always make it to school. This is the demographic Tara actually fits in, but she wasn’t astute enough to disconnect her trauma from her roots, and put the blame on the actual culprit: having a mentally ill father. 

There are many iterations of how to educate one’s child in religious communities.

The Anabaptists have their own schools, and the Hutterites often hire someone with a degree to teach at their private schools. The children in these communities usually graduate at eighth grade, but their curriculum is overall superior than the typical eighth grade education. The Latter Day Saints and Seventh Day Adventists leave it up to the individual family whether they send their children to a public or private school, or home schooled. Smaller communities like the Twelve Tribes and various so-called cults might not put a huge emphasis on the importance of education, but their children still tend to be more socially aware and schooled in the classics and ancient arts. It's amazing really how educated these people really are, although rumor suggests otherwise. There are occasional horror stories of youth leaving for a better education. But if these same people had been raised in a secular setting they'd have faced similar problems, possibly even placed in a special-ed program, as many public schools don't even offer basic vocabulary or arithmetic lessons.

Are these children actually uneducated? I guarantee children raised in communities can hold a conversation longer than most public schooled children. Maybe they haven't got all the facts memorized just as a normal child does (maybe they have more memorized). But they certainly can read and figure math in elementary school better than many college students. 

Not only do they often have a better foundation in the fundamental basics of phonetics and their multiplication tables memorized, this is due in part because children of religious communities are not often shy of labor.

Children raised in niche religions and communities often have work ethics that busybodies or embittered individuals who read too many self-help books believe to be a sign that the child is abused or forced to do child labor. This is simply an ignorant perspective. Most children raised in communities or weird families are content the majority of the time and aren't struggling with a multitude of addictions. Most of them grow up happy and remain loyal to their lifestyle. 

Wouldn't you love it if you could trust your child to do what you asked of him the first time without a screaming match, or worrying over whether or not he was waylaid by a pile of screens you wish you never gave him? Maybe you're sometimes glad he has them because then you can tune out your child and pretend he doesn't exist for a moment—what if he were living a life that never caused you to want to forget that you had a child? 

It's odd that children of communities are thought to be subjected to "child labor" without asking their opinion on the matter. These kids usually have constant, large grins spread on their faces, and if they see you they are looking for a way to offer you some pastry or prank. Maybe if you're lucky they'll let you help them with their chores. 

My husband and I spent an evening with a classical conservative democrat recently. He told us how in his days the parties weren’t ideologically divided, and that it was mostly about labor and union laws. I asked him what the divide on child-labor was. 

“Oh, it was mostly a myth. A lot of children wanted to make money, so policy makers sold it as a work shortage issue, much as republicans claim immigrants are stealing jobs from Americans. They claimed that children were taking able-bodied men’s jobs by doing the labor cheaper. Normal people didn’t care if a kid worked.”

Their labor and alternative education impacts their lives in immeasurable ways. Before deciding if these children are truly mistreated, observe their fruits, accept that all children have disgruntled moods and dislike what they are required to do, and consider that all teenagers face a period of disillusioned angst.

5. Unbiblical Rules

The most common complaint I hear about religious communities (or cult, if you will) is the requirement to be unified under standards that aren't biblical. I understand the need to want to know the truth. But those who go too far down the rabbit hole of needing to know what's what develop spiritual autism. Sometimes arbitrary rules safeguard the sanity of a community—they don't need to be true, or biblically backed, as long as they aren't a sin. 

Those who decide to remain in or join a community and stay in it don't feel the O.C.D. pulse to be correct in all things. They’ve laid aside doubts to pursue faith. Sure, they could leave their community and start wearing different patterns and prints. Why would they? Freedom to wear and do what you want only gets you so much. It doesn't matter if the Bible doesn't forbid it. Their mindset isn't so literal and lascivious. 

Which matters most: unity or one's desires? Someone has to decide if certain things ought to be worn or not worn, since the Bible left it unclear, so why shouldn't a bishop or an elder? Most of them feel it is better left out of their hands and minds. Let others worry over things that don’t matter. Such Christians are not worried about individual independence as much as harmony. They know their rules aren't of salvation merit, neither do these rules diminish holy living. They simply are rules. With the remission of pride and vanity, they can live a simpler life and make fewer inconsequential choices. 

Those who are a part of ultra religious communities believe it's best not to ask if the rules are scriptural based. If they are honest, they will tell you they aren't. Do their aesthetics match Christian values? If so, that’s all the persuasion one wants, as long as the fruits of spirit thrive strongly in this community. 

Faith without works is words. The Bible is clear on this — therefore men have taken it upon themselves to find actions that might reflect the virtue of their words. These works don’t determine one’s faith, but they might add a depth, and a structure — works can’t detract from faith anymore than it can’t “prove” faith. Religious communities are reacting against a quickly degenerating mainstream Christian lifestyle where all they have left to them are words that ring like sounding brass. 

6. Gossip and Hypocrisy  

I love to add hype to the hospitality of the Twelve Tribes, the Jim Roberts group, and the Amish. It's often countered with, "Sure they feed you, and are nice to you, and welcoming. But after you leave they gossip behind your back. They are all just a bunch of hypocrites who spread slander." 

And who doesn’t talk about people once they leave?

And what is wrong with doing this? If it doesn’t lead to hate?

I see nothing wrong with gossip i.e. the gossip that is neutral and etymologically connected to gospel. It’s a passive aggressive mindset to not want to talk about other people — it’s how our lives get shoved under the rug. Pure gossip sustains community life. Without gossip sex scandals would never be addressed and dealt with. One would never know if a new mother needed help with her little ones. Barn raisings and canning days and other social work holidays wouldn't materialize. They feed you and are nice to you because they care enough to talk about you, and to do something about whatever it is they say behind your backs. Gossip is a communication tool that produces mostly positive fruits, slipping occasionally into the territory of slander, but often as not, that, too, is addressed routinely. Are there hypocrites among communities willing to gossip in an inappropriate manner? Sure. However, if you want a community, you aren't easily going to find one that doesn't gossip. Just make sure that the one you're joining does so in a wholesome way. ⁶

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If religious ‘cults’ aren’t so bad, why do so many people viscerally hate them?

Probably for the same reason the secular world hates culture. The world is skeptical of anything that cultivates … anything that brings forth life, beauty, adoration, and joy. They want us wholly wed to the corporate tubes of commercialism. 

If you want a career, you must forget your culture. There is no allowance for both faith and money in the homogenized rat race. And so the prodigal children of cults are forced forward. The modern chains of progressive industry and the grind of the clock are forces greater than any pig pen. There is no room to return.

However sincere a worldview might be, it is sure to include its own unique scandals, abuse, and oppression because every belief is made up of people prone to evil-doing. There is no Utopia. Call others expressions of faiths cults if you like, but they are truly the closest attempt you'll find creating heaven on earth. 

The secular world, too, contains hypocrites, pedophiles, misogyny, animal abuse, and slander. However it often lacks an enriched community. Individual pursuits are propagandized as the ultimate sacred path—but everyone is lonely. It’s easy to be annoyed or envious of groups of people who are different from the normal populace. 

It is easy to call various communities disingenuous when they turn out to commit the simple sin of having the same common vices as the rest of the world.  

I would never advise anyone to leave their “cult” without first understanding their roots and knowing fully well what it is they want instead. We have too many prodigal sons who won’t return, who are creating deeper schisms among God’s people for frivolous excuses. These young prodigal sons and daughters are being told to cast stones to embrace hypocrites. They are being told that the only way to heal is to dishonor their father and their mother.

Even if you aren’t a member of a “weird” community, it's good to be willing to recognize them as neighbors, and to appreciate the generosity, hospitality, frugality, and other treasured fruits of the spirit you might see among them. There's no need for you to be an outsider, and you might as well share the occasional meal, and even work alongside the folks who live near you, be they ever so different from yourself in dress, diet, and theology. 

Perhaps they have dark secrets—I'm sure you do, too.

We’re all on the path of learning what it means to keep the ten commandments; to honor our parents and our traditions. Do the aesthetics of cults reflect the desires of your heart? Or inspire you? If they don't, find a way to allow it to be so.

We are all neighbors.

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1. The Twelve Tribes practices hospitality as a form of evangelism. They have yellow delis cafes and hostels scattered across the world. I know the First Two children raised in the group. They are no longer practicing members, but they mostly only have good things to say about the Twelve Tribes despite no longer being members. I also know a lot of current, happy members of the group. They might have problems, and there are inflated rumors about the group, however their fruit is good.

2. Also know as the Garbage Eaters, The Bicycling Ministry, and the Brothers. Pretty much everything you can find online about them is false. One of my best friends was raised among them, and I know many current members. They take Matthew 5 and 6 seriously, and are a very kind, hospitable group.

3. My first published article was about Hutterites: https://bozemanmagazine.com/news/2014/05/04/106934-hutterites-nine-who-left

4. Reviews for Unorthodox and Educated can be found at my Goodreads.

5. Ex-members of cults often come in two flavors. Either they left and have nothing good to say about their group, or they “transcended” and realize their group set them up for the life they are now leaving. I only trust the second type of people.

6.